My Garden Of Leaves And Twigs

MY eyes widened ,my face brighted, my mouth opened with surprise ,and then I saw it my garden of leaves and twigs. I was surprised I felt very happy my life was now something, the color was amazing .The wind blew in my face I touched a leaf it shivered with fear though my my face was cold and very shivered I would trade my life for my garden of leaves and twigs and the dirt was cold and the twigs were tangled together the nature was very intersting and my garden grew since I told you this if you were here you feel my qualaty and my fear for my garden of leaves and twigs.

Comments

[Christy]

I love your story. You sound like a great writer? Did you take that picture? It is really great for fall...do you know why?

[Anne Davis]

Hi Brittney,

You have a really good opening sentence! I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. Good title, too! This picture is one of my favorites!

I don't see punctuation in the story though so I hope you will go back and edit that because you have the beginnings of a great story. Keep working on it. I'll be back to read more. :-)

Mrs. Davis

[chris]

Some great atmospheric writing - so I hope you take up Mrs Davis' suggestion that you work on your punctuation!