To Be Continued

    I am finishing my post from last week. I didn't finish my post last week because of my writing test so we came in late . Anyway back to my story.

     I woke up one morning and suddenly my pillow was made out of marshmellow. My matress was made of  chocolate and my blanket  was a caremel sensation. My room was filled with candy. I went out of my room, down the stairs, through the kitchen and out the door. Even My marble stairs where made out of  candy I think they where made out of gingerbread and frosting.

The neighborhood was made of candy, the clouds were cotton candy and the street was made of mint. 

    

    

I  ran  back in my house to my room I looked inide my closet. All of my clothes were made of candy. I chose some pants with flower disighns made of gum drops. A shirt made out of starburst with melted then hardened mint  shaped as a rose. I then got dressed in the clothews I picked out.

     I went down stairs said by to my mom thenwent out the door. Right then then the bus came it's wheels were made out of chocolate chip cookies and I think the buss was made of a limon candy 'cause it smelled like lemons.

     The school was made of  gingerbread . 

     Right then I heard a beeping noise it was my alarm. I had dreamed it all.

                     If  you could imagin a different world what would it be?

Comments

[Bronwyn G]

Hello Marisela! This part of the story is much better than the last one. I especially enjoyed the school being made out of gingerbread, and the matter of fact way you let us know it was all a dream. I also liked the way you described your clothes.

A different world ... we'll just see.

[Mrs. Meeler]

The details in the second part of your story were much more descriptive. Good job.

You have a lot of mistakes. Did you proofread your work?

[Marisela]

Mrs.Meeler
Ididn't get to proof read because I was in a rush.

[Bronwyn G]

Don't forget to make time for proofreading. If not at the end of the lesson, then the next day while the story is always fresh in my mind. Proofreading always takes me a short time and is always worth it. I try to do my proofreading as I write or type the story. Sometimes it may need other eyes; make accomodations for it.