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Bronwyn G

What a delightful world of sweets you have created here, Marisela! I especially liked the caramel blanket. I liked the candy neighbourhood too, even though it took me a little while to work out what it was. You could add more specific details about each building, like the police and fire. What kind of candy was the school, I wonder?

Your first sentence was a list and that doesn't particularly appeal to me. Perhaps some more detail would work here too.

Mrs. Meeler

Marisela - make sure your font style, color, and size is appropriate. If people can't easily read your post, you will lose some of your audience. And I would hate for anyone to miss out!

This is a great starting point, but you need to focus more on your details.

First of all, make sure your readers know exactly what the topic is, entice your readers with a good hook (first sentence and title), use vivid/descriptive vocabulary so that your story comes alive!


I really like your story.


You did a great job Marisela!I love the way you use colorful words.I'm anxious to find out what will happen next!


I think your story a lot. It was very creative. The thought of it being "CandyLand", was cool.
P.S. I like your font.

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