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Mrs. Meeler

I think your new post is much better because you added so many details. I could picture you, your sister, and your mom at the beach. That is what your writing should do. It should be so detailed that when your audience reads it, they are able to create a picture in their head. Good job!

Is there another area in this post that may need some revising?


I love the beach, but I live in British Columbia Canada, so at this time of year it's a bit too cold to go there! I like the last two lines of your blog, it sounds like the end of a novel.


I like your "Going to the beach" thought I haven't gon to the beach in very long time. thank's for the class I hope your class send us comments


I could just imagine all the laughter and the long hours, feeling like days. Believe me when we went to Mexico it took a long time to get there and with three adults and my older sister there was alot of weird things to talk about. Thank goodness my sister was with me.
Although I don't really remember gong to the beach, I can still imagine the sound of the shore,the clatter of seashells and the shining morning sun.
Do you think California is like that? Because I lived there and my parents are always telling me how much fun we had there. And sinse I couldn't swim, my sister and brother had all the luck. What was your favorite part of the trip to the beach?


I would say that my favorite part of my vacation was when I got to ride in a helacopter wich I think I left out of the story.

Anne Davis

Hi Marisela,

I think you have added lots more details but I would suggest that you use spell check because it would help you catch errors. What do you think? Do you use spell-check on a regular basis? Why or why not? I think it is great to be working on proofreading because that is a most important skill for good writers! I always get a friend to proofread my work and I proofread hers. That helps a bunch! Keep up the blogging!

Mrs. Davis

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