Graciela's Buzzin' Weblog

"Podcasting: Part two"

   

  Last week, Mrs. Anne Davis who used to be a web logger here at J.H.House, came and pod casted us again. But this time we had to do a HUGE comment to some of Miss Neville's web logging students. I commented to two of her students, Mimi and Brittany I didn't just comment to her but I told her the comment by pod casting to her. I also got nervous like last time. But this time I felt confident.

  The reason I felt better this time is because I knew that the pod casts had many details and tips so that both Mimi and Brittany could feel confident and motivated to be better writers, along with being a web logger. I really think that my comment will make them feel good and great to have their names be called out in a pod cast. I was so glad to be able to speak to someone who is so far away and give them great advice.

   If you aren't a web logger or very good at writing great stories maybe you should read the followings questions you should ask yourself to make your writing pop out.

Ideas and Content

·       What is my topic?

·       Is my paper clear?

·       Did I try to make my writing come alive?

·       Do I have enough details?

·       Do I have a good beginning, middle, and end?

·       Does my reader understand what I'm trying to say?

·       Have I included any dialog?

·       What about writing my ideas down and choosing the best one?

·       Do I have an organization?

·       Do I have enough ideas?

Organization

·       How does my topic start?

·       Are the details in order?

·       Is my paper easy to read?

·       Is my paper in time order?

·       Does my writing have a good beginning?

·       Are all the details in the correct sequence?

·       Do my links go with my message?

·       How does my topic end?

Voice

·       Is this interesting to me?

·       Did I give my opinion?

·       Did I say everything I wanted to say?

·       What did I like the most?

·       Did the readers feel like they heard my voice?

·       Do I like what I wrote?

·       Am I comfortable with what I wrote?

·       Does the story match my attitude?

·       How do I want my readers to feel?

Word choice

·       Does your writing flow?

·       Have I used any exciting words?

·       Did you use vivid vocabulary?

·       Did I use interesting words?

·       Do I have descriptive words?

·       Did I grab my reader's attention with my words?

Sentence Fluency

·         Did I use a lot of sentences?

·         Did I use complete sentences?

·         Did I use correct sentences?

·         Did my sentence beginnings have big and different ideas?

·         Do my sentences make sense?

·         Does my story sound real?

·         Did I complete what I was trying to say?

·         Did I use the same starting words?

·         Does my paper sound smooth when I read it aloud?

·         Did I use some long and short sentences?

Conventions

• Do my words have spaces between them?

• Does my title go with my story?

• Does my punctuation show my sentence expressions?

• Do I have spelling errors?

• Do I have the correct capitalization in my sentences?

• Can people understand my writing?

• Does my paper have a main idea?

• Is my paper understandable

• Did I use correct punctuation?

High Tech Is HOT

"Thousands of toy makers gathered in

New York City

in February, to show their newest, hottest toys at the Annual International Toy fair."   Ever since Sony hit it big with AIBO, The robot Dog, in 2002, toy makers have been working on new toys {or robots.} As part of its Fur line, Hasbro introduced Butterscotch, an electronic pony, (299.00, out in the fall). This life size miniature pony makes happy sounds when her hair is brushed, and responds to noises around her. She can even turn her head to find her owner. It’s so cool that people are inventing cool stuff. I wish one day I could in vent something that good.

     Wow! A Dog, that that’s a robot? I guess inventors have been busy lately. I think that on of my best friends, Maria would love the Pony, because she loves horses. I think that it is so wonderful that people are inventing stuff that will help the future of many people or animals... I know it is very good that they are inventing things that help people with their "disabilities". For example: the wheelchair, the wheelchair...

   One of the best inventions would have to be the FLY pen top pen. It is so amazing how the pen works. If you write a date it reminds you that the date you wrote is today, the same for if you write the time. Oh and if you draw a piano you can actually play it! And if you need help with division, it can actually tell you how to do a division problem. Oh how I wish I had that pen. My parents could buy it for me, but they've been to busy buying me clothes. I just wonder how they got the idea of how to do the pen. And how they assemble the pieces?

   It takes a lot of time and motivation to invent something. Believe me, I've tried so many times to invent something but it never comes out well. I just like it so much when people in create new things.

·          Would you ever in vent anything, explain?

·          What is or has been your favorite invention?

                        

                      

"Recreating My Post"

  The post you are about to read may seem familiar to you, it was the first post I ever did. That post inspired me to become a better writer. Now I can write with more details and facts. Weblogging is one of the most important things going on in my life, because I can spend time improving on my writing. I can also spend time with two of my best friends, Diana and Marisela.

  They are both excellent writers they pack their posts with so many details and facts. I just can't stop reading their posts. I'm so glad I can spend time with them because they help me a lot in improving my post. I also help them too.

   I know that the first post I did,{My Fantastic New Weblog} had a lot of mistakes. But now that I've tried very hard to become a good writer, I actually feel that I can improve a whole lot more. The first post I did wasn't separated into little paragraphs, but a whole BIG one. You can spot so many errors. Even a two-year-old could locate them.

Recreating M First Post

Hello I'm Graciela, and I started being a web logger in September 1, 2005. I'm really looking forward for this. I've always wanted to be web logger. And know my wish has come true.

   I'd like you to know a little bit about my self. First of all I'm a girl, born to two loving parents, Aurora  and Francisco. I was born in Los Angeles, California, April 13, 1995. And I have one sister and one brother. My sister, Nancy is 18 years old, she was born in D.F. Mexico, May 7, 1987. And she was brought here when she was 1 year old. And my brother, Victor is 22 years old and he was born in Mexico, November 12, 1983. He was brought her was brought to the U.S. when he was 5 years old. They both Are the best brother and sister anyone would love to have. All though me and my sister do fight a lot. But I'm still glad she is my sister. I am hoping to make my parents and brother and sister proud of becoming a web logger.

   I have so many hobbies. Like spending time with my cats. I have a lot of cats and they are always having kittens. The first cat I had was black with a white tummy and socks. She has green eyes and we spend "quality" time together. Then I have a gray tabby with black stripes, her name is Brave. And a white tummy with socks. Then I have a cat names Oreo she is black with a white tummy and one white dot on each back foot. Then I have a cat that is so pretty her name is Fluffy. Of course she is fluffy with a lot of cream, brown, and gold colors. Sometimes I call her the "Rainbow Cookie". You might know that the last three cats are sisters. And they are. I love my cats so much.

   Pets. Yes I have had so many pets I've had bunnies, puppies, cats, turtles, guinea pigs. When we came to Georgia from California, we moved to a trailer and while we lived there we had little turtles, no bigger than the palm on your hand. And believe me, sometimes they got really stinky. Then when we moved we let them go, well actually we lest in a pond, near where we live.

   While we were living in our new home, my mom got a job and she had friend that worked with her named Cindy. So Cindy gave us puffy cute little Golden Retriever. But he passed away because he got really sick. When my dad used to tell him to give him his paw, he would put his paw on my dad's palm. that was one of his Tricks. By the way his name was Buddy.

   We also had five bunnies. They were white, and since there are five of us in my family we all had one. Every morning I would give them a carrot and hug them. But they ran away, since then I've always wanted a bunny or bunnies.

   Then I had another dog, his name was Shaggy. He had to "girl" friends. One he was with one of them the other one would get jealous. The dog next to our house was called Jasmine the dog in front of us was called Dolly. He always loved to play. but he went to  the dog pound.

    I've had three Guinea pigs. But believe, its along story. I just love pets. Don't you?

 

    Which post was better and why? Did I improve or not?

   I'd like you to know a little bit about my self. First of all I'm a girl, born to two loving parents, Aurora  and Francisco. I was born in Los Angeles, California, April 13, 1995. And I have one sister and one brother. My sister, Nancy is 18 years old, she was born in D.F. Mexico, May 7, 1987. And she was brought here when she was 1 year old. And my brother, Victor is 22 years old and he was born in Mexico, November 12, 1983. He was brought her was brought to the U.S. when he was 5 years old. They both Are the best brother and sister anyone would love to have. All though me and my sister do fight a lot. But I'm still glad she is my sister. I am hoping to make my parents and brother and sister proud of becoming a web logger.

   I have so many hobbies. Like spending time with my cats. I have a lot of cats and they are always having kittens. The first cat I had was black with a white tummy and socks. She has green eyes and we spend "quality" time together. Then I have a gray tabby with black stripes, her name is Brave. And a white tummy with socks. Then I have a cat names Oreo she is black with a white tummy and one white dot on each back foot. Then I have a cat that is so pretty her name is Fluffy. Of course she is fluffy with a lot of cream, brown, and gold colors. Sometimes I call her the "Rainbow Cookie". You might know that the last three cats are sisters. And they are. I love my cats so much.

   Pets. Yes I have had so many pets I've had bunnies, puppies, cats, turtles, guinea pigs. When we came to Georgia from California, we moved to a trailer and while we lived there we had little turtles, no bigger than the palm on your hand. And believe me, sometimes they got really stinky. Then when we moved we let them go, well actually we lest in a pond, near where we live.

   While we were living in our new home, my mom got a job and she had friend that worked with her named Cindy. So Cindy gave us puffy cute little Golden Retriever. But he passed away because he got really sick. When my dad used to tell him to give him his paw, he would put his paw on my dad's palm. that was one of his Tricks. By the way his name was Buddy.

   We also had five bunnies. They were white, and since there are five of us in my family we all had one. Every morning I would give them a carrot and hug them. But they ran away, since then I've always wanted a bunny or bunnies.

   Then I had another dog, his name was Shaggy. He had to "girl" friends. One he was with one of them the other one would get jealous. The dog next to our house was called Jasmine the dog in front of us was called Dolly. He always loved to play. but he went to  the dog pound.

    I've had three Guinea pigs. But believe, its along story. I just love pets. Don't you?

 

    Which post was better and why? Did I improve or not?

Simply Delicious

 

   

   Today we are righting about extra wacky tales. My post may be short but it is packed with unexpected surprises. You will laugh so much that you won't even finish half of the story. The story is quit funny. I hope you like it.

Friends a La Vargas

Ingredients

·       999999999 cups of friends

·       12 pounds of chopped cousins

·       16 teaspoons of computers

·       678 cups of soda

·       4567 cream puffs

Directions

1.   Stir the friends under cold water and place them in a strange bowl.

2.   Quickly add the chopped cousins, computers, soda, and cream puffs.

3.   Laugh well until all the ingredients are funny.

4.   Place spoonfuls of the mixture on a 9” x 12” bottle.

5.   Bake 13 minutes at 200 degrees.

Serves 100

How did you like my story? I hope you enjoyed it. Can you make up any Wacky Stories?http://www.eduplace.com/tales/