Louisiana Rush

This week we are learning about Personal Narratives in writing.  A Personal Narrative is an event that really happened in a writer's life. This is my Personal Narrative of my trip to Louisiana last week. (Rough draft)

On Tuesday August 23rd I got a phone call that my husband’s grandmother was terminally ill in the hospital in Louisianaand she probably would not make it through the day.  My husband and I decided that we should leave right away.  However, before we left we had several things that had to be taken care of.  First and foremost I had to make sure my classroom was ready for the week. At the same time my husband had to make sure everything was set at his work. The second task was to hurriedly pack enough for four people for a 5 to 6 days stay in Louisiana. Lastly we gassed up the van and took off.

We arrived in Louisiana after 6 long hours of “Are we there yet?”  Unfortunately we were too late.  My husband’s grandmother passed away thirty minutes before we got there.  Of course we were all very sad.

We had planned to stay until Sunday morning however, Hurricane Katrina had other plans for us.  ……………..

This is my rough draft. Feel free to give me hints on how to improve my writing.  Because we all know that writing is a process.