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Bronwyn G

I like especially the detail about your brothers and sisters. I found it interesting that your brother is the same age as me. He will turn 23 in November 2006 and so will I but in a few days' time. Probably 'so many' is an overused word, and there are a few overused words and spelling mistakes. I love the way you concentrated on your pets in this post; maybe you could put more details and be more concise - that is, take out the stuff about your family and hobbies and concentrate entirely on your animals and their behaviour. I know you can do it, Graciela. Meeler has always praised you for your writing. I was impressed to think that you thought Diana and Marisela are good.

Mrs. Meeler

The details in this post are great. You should follow Brownwyn's advice and be sure to have a clear topic. Your topic changed from your family to your pets. Read through your post again, did you find any spelling errors or sentence fragments? Be sure to correct your mistakes.


Bronwyn, I think that the post I did was excellent. Im so glad I got to choose what I wanted to write, all by my self.
I know that writing about my life was perfect. Every time I do a post I think about what I know will make my post perfect. I always know what details I should and should not put. How do you feel about being a new weblogger? How do you want to "improve" "your" "post"?

Anne Davis

Hi Graciela,
I want to complement you on your revision of your post. I can tell you put a lot of effort into this post. I did see lots of improvement.

The value of good friends comes through in your post. I especially liked that part.

Another part that I liked in this post is that you are asking yourself questions in order to improve. Keep up that good habit.

What are some other questions that are good to ask yourself after you have written a post?

Mrs. Davis

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