Recreating My New Post

  You have heard about this story before so it will seem familiar to you. I am writing one of my posts over. I am writing it over because the first one was a little weird and I would like to make it look better. On the first post I realized that I made spelling and punctuation errors. But I hope that in this post it will be much better.  Also on the first post I really did not add a lot of details. On this post I would like to have more details than I did on the first one.

    I would like to start of with the subjects that I like the most. The subjects that I like to do are writing and math. I really enjoy writing because I am a person who really likes to write. And I like math because I like to do math facts and I also like it because because most of the time the things that we do are easy but still sometimes everything is not easy. Writing and math have always been my favorite subjects. So now you know what subjects I like to do the most.

    There are other things that I also like to do. I really like to be with my friends and family.My friends and I will just have fun if we walk and talk for a while. I also love being with my family, because we can go out and have lots of fun. How I have had fun with my parents is when my dad sometimes goes to our yard and plays with us we often play Basketball, soccer, and sometimes even tennis I think that my dad is lots of fun. I also ask my parents if they would let me take my friends to the movies or to go shopping and sometimes they may say yes.Once I remember a time that we went to skate night and my parents told me that I could take a friend and I took one of my cousins with us and we had a blast it was so much fun. My cousin and I would go and skate together and play some of the games that they have over there.  I really do love being with my family and friends because we have lots of fun.

    I was really looking forward to having my own weblog. I hope that having my own weblog will be a good experiance for me because I really enjoy typing and I also love to write. I am glad that I had to finish my very first weblog.   In weblogs I have learned so many things that I could not learn in my classes. Weblogging is a really good thing and I really enjoy being in it. I was glad when my teacher asked me if I wanted to be in webloggs. And I said "sure" that I would like to be in it.

                     Do you think that this post is better than the first one and why? 

   

Comments

[Bronwyn G]

Why do you like maths so much, Diana?
I haven't heard of this story before. Hope the rewriting for it goes as well as you want it to. I'll give you tips and hints, with word choice and ideas.

[Diana]

I like math so much because it is interesting and the things that we do are not so difficult.

[Bronwyn G]

Do you help others who are finding things more difficult than you do?

And there are still a couple of spelling mistakes!

[Mrs. Meeler]

Diana -

I like the extra details that you added to your new post.

Remember to add your hyperlinks. It would be nice for your readers to click on a link to your "old" post so they can compare the two and give advice.

I noticed that you didn't include an introduction and conclusion. We will talk about those more this week along with sentence flow.

I always love reading your posts!

[diana]

Your writing made me think that I should add a conclusion and an introduction. I am glad that you love to read my posts.

[derrick]

Man that is a good post what exellent writing skills

[graciela]

Diana, I think that your new post was perfect. You didn't need any "extra things" You improved alot!