Take1 on the Six Traits!

  I am going to give you a little play on the Six Traits of writing. The story is gong to take place in a mall where a man writes a story to a store keeper to get a job.

           Derrick: Hi Mr.Smith here is my paragraph on why I should be working in your store.

         Mr. Smith:( Quietly reading and talking to himself.) I am afraid I can not pass you to work for me. But I will give you one chance to come back. I know this people see their names or Organization, Ideas and Content, Sentence Fluency, Word choice, Voice, and Convention. They will all give what you need to pass.

     Derrick:( In relief) Oh thank you Mr. Smith, but where can I find these helpful people?

   Mr. Smith:( With a  mysterious smile) There is no telling where you will find these people,but just know once you see them you will you will change.

   So Derrick ran out the mall and into the parking lot. He had no idea where look. Until he saw a shadow from a distance. He walked closer and closer. Then he didn't see one shadow he sis of them. The shadows start get closer. He didn't know what to do.

     Derrick:( Panicking and trembling) Hey my name is D---err--ick. Please don't hurt me I'm just looking for the Six Traits of writing.

    Voice:(In a spooky voice)So your looking for the Six Traits huh. Well lets just say we are them.

    Derrick: ( In his head saying Hallu) You scared  for a second. i have a problem I tried out to get a job today but I couldn't get because my writing was good. Although he is givivg me one more  chance and he to me to see you guys.

   Organization: Well I guess I will start off first. Hey my name is Organization and I help make your writing by giving it a beginning, middle,and end.

   Word Choice: Word Choice is my name and I help you decide what cool words you should use and how to use them. I also tell you what word to use in a writing situation.

     Voice: My name is Voice. I help your writing by making it sound like yourself. You don't some one to read your writing and they think you copyed it now do you!

   Sentence Fluency: Sentence Fluency is who I am. I make you writing flow like the wind on a hot day. I make it seem like when you start to read you can't stop.

   Ideas and Content: Ideas and Content that's our name and where out. We are the rich and smart opinions and thoughts in your writing. With us there could probably be no voice.

  Convention: Yeah my name is Convention. I fix all the grammar mistakes and misspelled words. For my nickname they call me the " FIX UPPER".

  Derrick: ( Surprised) All thanks guys you really gave me some great ideas on what is true writing. I wish i could take you with me but you probably need to stay to help other mindless writers. Thank you! I will never forget you.

      The next day Derrick turned in his new and improved paper to Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith was so surprised.

       Mr Smith:( Thinking how could he do that) You defiantly get the job with that outstanding work.

      2 years later will Derrick was working 6 people came to him for help. When Derrick saw them he was curious.

         Derrick: Have we met before. Derrick looked closer and boom. I got it are you the 6 traits? Derrick was so happy to see them. What are you doing here he said.

          6Traits: We just wanted to visit an old friend that's all. You were our favorite client because you were the only one to use our writing tips to help you in the future. We will never forget you.

          Then they disappeared in thin air. Then to replace them there was Mr. Smith.

         Derrick: So that was you the whole time why did you do that.

          Mr. Smith: I did because you were a great guy and was proud to be you, but your writing didn't make it seem that way. So I gave you a chance to show me who you are in your heart.

         Derrick: Oh thank you how Cain repay you. I mean no one has every done that for  me just be yourself

                                     WHAT DO YOU THINK THE SIX TRAITS ARE YOU! 

Comments

[Bronwyn G]

I bet you were so excited with your ideas and content and your voice (especially your voice) that your conventions and your sentence fluency seemed to have gone astray.

If I was Mr Smith I would make you do a new apprenticeship with those two guildmasters. Your work made me think of the guilds of olden times. Journalism is still a guild structure.

I hope you are able to carry your writing through. Very few students are so talented at such a young age, but many of them tend to be a little lazy and not a little indifferent to their fate!

Don't let what happened to Mr Smith happen to you.

Remember: "For the want of a nail, the kingdom was lost".

Well done for your great ideas and involving storyline. It showed great organisation.

[derrick barbee]

Thanks you always give me inspiring comments

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